The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realist shit ever then you can get right on outta town.
vote for the uk or we cancel doctor who
this isn’t going to work either uk. just give it up already.
We automatically qualify every year because we are one of the countries to pay the most into Europe, so we’re always foolishly optimistic that we’ll do well. To be honest, the only way we’ll win is if we bribe the other countries to vote for us. Everyone hates us, so no matter what song we perform, we’ll never get a good score.
We never think we’re gonna win. We’re doggedly resigned to the fact we won’t. Doesn’t stop how cheesy amazing and camp Eurovision is
tw: rape/pedophilia/sexual abuse
inconsistent font choices: the powerpoint
long story short,
- in the event that you do read “lolita”
- read the foreword
- and the afterword
- consider context and intent
- get the annotated version if u want
- and pay attention to the text.
There’s an episode in the first or second season of SVU where Dolores murders HH’s creepy ass. Yes good.
Also read the foreword because it’s where the resolution of the plot actually punches you in the gut.
i don’t tend to read forewords because i don’t want to start a book with someone else’s feelings about a book, but i guess i’ll do that o_o
mind you i’m not 100% confident i actually FINISHED lolita? like the last thing i remember is her being pregnant and humbert being all “she looks too grown up my boner is wilting :(“
i have genuinely used people’s feelings about lolita as a barometer for whether i want to have anything to do with them like:
DO YOU THINK HUMBERT HUMBERT IS A CREEPY PEDO RAPIST AND THAT WHAT HE DID WAS UNJUSTIFIED AND UNJUSTIFIABLE? PLEASE SELECT FROM THE FOLLOWING:
- FUCK YES
- I AM NOT WELCOME IN YOUR HOUSE SO I’M GOING TO AWKWARDLY LEAVE NOW
here are a few things that nabokov put in to let us know that what humbert humbert did was not okay:
- dolores cries herself to sleep every night — every single night
- she never ever ever responds the way HH wants her to — she endures what he does to her but gets no enjoyment whatsoever
- she refers to what he does as rape and perversion
- humbert acknowledges himself that she stays with him because she has nowhere else to go
- humbert doesn’t know this because he’s writing in prison, but in the foreword we learn that dolores dies at age 19 giving birth to a stillborn baby girl, which is clearly meant to be a result of years of abuse (maybe not literally but this is the sort of on-the-nose thing even great authors will do to drive home a point WHICH APPARENTLY PEOPLE STILL MISS)
this is not fucking romantic in any way shape or form and anyone who thinks it is needs serious help because holy shit
I love this, and I want to add 2 things.
- When I finally actually read Lolita, I was SHOCKED that people romanticized it in any way, because it’s CLEARLY supposed to be horrifying. I wrote something to that effect on a blog, and a couple people told me that the popular perception is based on the movie, which I haven’t seen, but which apparently has a different, nauseating take on the original story.
- I was once workshopping a short story that involved child molestation (it’s published online, you can message me if you want to read it), and a bunch of dudes in the workshop said they wanted to know more about the abuser and wanted me to humanize him instead of staying with the perspective of the victim. (Also, “Why doesn’t she just tell someone?”) I was unsurprised but angry as hell when later, one of them said of Lolita, “In one way, Humbert Humbert is a monster, but in another way, it’s kind of a beautiful love story, you know?” NO. I DON’T KNOW. BECAUSE IT’S NOT.
The story isn’t romantic, Humbert Humbert is a creepy weirdo. It’s not a love story - or at least, it’s a very very VERY one sided love story. There’s no denying HH is completely obsessed with Dolores. However, the prose is romantic. Nabokov’s writing style is unashamedly lovely - ‘you can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style’. That’s what I mean when I say that Lolita is a romantic story. It’s romanticism in its stylistic sense as opposed to its content. It’s beautiful and by far and away my favourite book.
(Source: saiaka, via whatmyfuturelookslike)